Monday, December 27, 2010

Forwarding Address



The blog you are looking for is now here:
The Fool on the Hill

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Post

Well a lot of people said I should do a post (2 people actually so I decided to do one.

Enjoy!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Well...

I would say april fools but that would sound cliched. Donchyathink?

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Off the beaten track

Th USA has the most reported tornadoes in the world, with 600-700 tornadoes being reported every year. The worst tornado event in history as on 18 March 1925. The Tri Staate Tornado, as it was called, killed 689 people and caused $17 million in damage.

Viva la general knowledge!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

LOOK AT ME THE KING OF AWESOME!!

Look at me getting all bossy and poking my nose into other peoples business!

Schools get responsive and responsible

Principals ban students from participating in reality shows after quizmaster's letter

By Rashmi Menon

Quizmaster Derek O'Brien has been writing to schools around the city expressing his concern over students' participation in reality shows. He says that some of US's biggest reality shows like Survivor, American Idol and Big Brother have a specified age limit. In fact, the minimum age to enter American Idol is 16 years, he says.

After Sunday MiD DAY reported (SMD, July 6) quizmaster Derek O'Brien's plan to send letters to city-based schools requesting them to discourage students from participating in reality shows, around 345 schools have received the letters. They include Champion school, Maneckji Cooper Education Trust, Utpal Shanghvi, Bombay Scottish and The Cathedral and John Cannon School in Mumbai. And O'Brien has received responses from many, with some banning student participation in such shows outright.

So is the government going look into this issue? Leena Mehendale, member secretary of the state Child Rights Protection Commission, says that once the commission members are appointed, perhaps it will look into forming some guidelines. "The 'I must win' spirit is good but it should not be made as a life and death situation," says Mehendale.

Meanwhile, this is the copy of the letter sent to various city-based schools.

Oh yeah I'm the biggest boss in the world!!

Viva la general knowledge!

Everything's all right!

Oh that was just a joke everything's fine! I am fine! Really! I'm fine! So anyway I have something to say to you guys and I hope you will forgive me. I have been misleading you. Derek O' Brien is not the evil miscreant I have made him out to be but instead he is an enlightened purveyor of a near-celestial view! That is why I am giving up my blog to him so that he can spread his powerfully enlightening general knowledge. I have of my free will given u my blog and It's not like he's torturing me in some army bunker in J and K.

So long
Saleem

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's him!

theyre comin 4 me tell da ppls quick it's drk o0f8d4vfh8w7rfswbhnjucseiow3h

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Part 4 of Derek O' Briens grand illegitimate questy quiz!

Hello and welcome back to the grand and awesome quiz of Derek O' Brien!!! Now that I have received the class 7 text books I will be asking questions from the doubly harder DEREK O' BRIEN's KNOWLEDGE TREK 7!!! (good thing it comes with an answer sheet or I would be dead!) Start!

This kingdom in the Andes mountain was created by the Quechua people in the 15th century. The empire extended from Ecuador to central Chile and Cuzco (not Cosco) was the capital city.
A Forgive me! I cheated!!
B Chile
C Aztec
D Inca
E Manchester United
F Who cares they are long dead and good riddance!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Fart 3

All right lets cut the cheese BIG OOPSIE! Sorry I apologize for that horrible bit of potty humour so now lets cut to the chase and

Queeeestiooon!: In the film 'Castaway' what did Tom Hanks name his volleyball?

And Aaaaansweeeeaaar!: A Harry
                                        B Wilson
                                        C Um I dunno
                                        D Alright! Alright! I searched it! So sue me!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Part 2

OK first let me tell you that since yesterday was Holi and spring is coming I have changed the template which is from now on seasonal.
Now back to the quiz.

Q2 Fred Perry is from ________. (its a country)
A Sweden
B USA
C UK
D I would like to confess that I have resorted to "unconventional and possibly unfair" means. Please send a paddy wagon over to pick me up immediately.
E Who the hell is Fred Perry and why SHOULD I CARE???

Thank you and we'll return after these short messages.




Saturday, February 27, 2010

The great Derek O'Brien quiz show!! Part 1

You see the's this guy called Derek O'Brien and he's always, like getting up in my business. First he gives me this dumb book called "Derek O'Brien's knowledge trek" and then I have to do all the stupid questions in it and then he's all like entering me in this scholarship thing and now my dad has to fill out this form. Plus he's so full of himself all like calling himself Asia's "best know quiz master"(sarcasm here). Seriously what is wrong with this guy?? So anyways just to demonstrate the stupidness of his stuff I will be hosting a 5 part quiz show featuring questions from the book. Just include your answer in your comment and no anonymous comments.No checking wiki and no googling/yahooing or any other cheating. Your time starts now.

What did Elishah Otis invent?

A Revolver
B Elevator
C I peeked! Kill me!
D Screw this! What's the point?!?!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

New post! (coming soon)

Allright I'm kinda busy studying for the exams so meanwhile just watch this video till I get the time to post a real post.

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?
If I keep doing this maybe my blog will just become a page to display videos.

-Saleem
PS Are my video games preparing me??

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Boink! The almost epic poem by: me!

1
Ma'aming like spamming 
is very extremely badding.
But while ma'amers will cram
for their exam
spammers will only sell ham.
And Anshdeep will just say DAMN!

2
While Uzbekistan builds a tram
Sam snaps pictures with his cam
and now the crooks are on the lam.

3
When vegetarians receive spam
telling them to buy ham
they say: Crickey!
This is not funny!
So let us be!
While we eat ghee!
But the dietitians say:
"Please sir look, see
you cannot eat more ghee!
You will be too much fatty!"

4
"Ray AB
starts from Angle ZTD
and ends at line segment GC"
said the crook that was free.

5
The crook from "The Great Escape"
played Runescape
while wearing a cape
fastened with tape.
If you saw him you surely would gape!

6
This poem goes on and on.
I do not know from where does it spawn.
You must stop it while I mow the lawn!

7
The end! Full stop! No more!
Go away you big bore!
Don't make my ears sore!

10
THE END!




Tuesday, February 2, 2010

October 15!

I just discovered while thumbing through google doodles that I share a birthday with Mikhail Lermontov a russian romantic poet, painter and writer! Imagine that! I feel like I've won the galactic birthday lottery! Schoolchildren all over (russia maybe) know his name! Imagine when I tell my friends. He liked to paint landscapes and... oh I'm bored. Gotta take a shower now bye.

-Saleem

Friday, January 29, 2010

Chess

No just go check his Wikipedia page!

In other matters I have discovered a centuries old plot to subconsciously subvert (here we go again) subway travelling substitutes. Have you ever wondered why in chess white always plays first?? Its because it was created by white-supremacists! All these years innocent grandmasters, amateurs and whatever comes in between have been happily playing away while their minds are being slowly but surely TURNED TO THE DARK (what?) sorry LIGHT SIDE!! *gasps of fear* Stop this outrage and sing a petition against chess HERE!Go sign that petition for me and all the chess players out there.

-Saleem

PS To JRR Tolkiens estate: Please don't sue I was just joking!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Orcs and stuff

I've been reading The lord of the rings and I just thought it seems extremely biased toward Orcs. In every scene they are depicted to be uniformly evil, boorish, ugly, greedy and overall louts while those self-righteous, oh-so-noble little buggers (Elves and the lot) go around never even giving them a chance! Even Orcs' beer (I'm not making this up) is depicted to be foul and unwholesome (I know beer is anyways foul and unwholesome but even Merry and Pippin who consider bread and beer a meal turned their noses up at it!). Is this simple perversion of the plot line or something much much more. It may even be... a... WHITE-SUPREMACIST PLOT!!!! (feel free to gasp in horror).
Was Tolkien secretly plotting to subconsciously subvert the minds of subway eating substitutes? (I hate alliteration:this is my revenge!) Was he secretly a member of the Ku Klux Klan?? Did he secretly send people orange pips? (you don't read Sherlock Holmes?? Shame on you!) Was his biasment (word?) of Orcs actually a plot to convert innocent readers into KKK recruits? Find out on the next episode of Lastresort Z!!

-Saleem

PS You'll only understand that last joke if you are into overly violent, amazingly lame cartoons for 10 year olds. Look it up bub.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Vacation

I'm sorry to say but I'm taking an official vacation and will be back in a week or two.

-Saleem

PS If you have any questions call my secretary.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix

I'm really lazy and I'm thinking of taking an official holiday but until then I'll just be wasting time by posting videos from youtube.



-Saleem

Friday, January 8, 2010

Fifty-first post

Sorry I have not posted in a while. It's like waking up after New Years party except with out a hangover. Anyway thanks for the support and the 100 hits on my last post and I will extend the poll a week or two. Thank you again.

-Saleem

Friday, January 1, 2010

FEEFTEHETH AHHNIVIRSAHRY POWZT!!




Ah Hello there. Didn't notice you. Well lets not kid ourselves. You're not exactly noticeable. What you need is a new look! not that dull brown suit and jacket. No my man what you need is something like this! Now that will get you noticed!(by the cops maybe)
Right now don't try to change the topic. Back to the topic. Skittles yum. Ah the crunchy chewy goodness of those sweet... Um topic! Right, topic!

Okay some of the more intelligent of you might have noticed that this is my FEEFTEHETH AHHNIVIRSAHRY POWZT! HIIIYAAAAH! KARATE KICK! TAKE THAT YOU FOul...
Anyways im going to try to make this post last a whole page or close to that by recycling old material. What? Yo mamma never tawt you about that? Well the three Rs are Reuse (shit) Reduce (qwality) and Recycle (old jokes). That's my motto! No my motto is stay out of the grotto,man stay out of the grotto. No it is mice are our friends! Or was it spiders or toads or BESIDES THE POINT!!! We need to stay alive and um work as a team or we'll lose the championship and get kicked out of school. Or something like that. Aways remember kids! Eat you're veggies and >then it deletes a hostile bid for a twenty who will make out the eighth and we’ll make a button which still you don’t have been done before and you a new AAA UAA one home by the end date when you write a great guy and then you went to bed end on 99 Dow and the light rail line for>united
And being when you enter the dragon you went to bed and 99 Dow bill and that I am a line for united and being when you rent at the gag and Europe to bed and 99 guild bill and and line for united and the win unit and then Downy and yield to bed at night and 99 new bill and Melinda I know but when you down the aisle like entering the political heat your home and legal dance out and not to be outlawed out of downtown Baghdad added an... blah blah blah respect you're elders and give me feedback. Yawn. Last night was quite a party. Except I didn't go to a party. But I did make it to midnight so Happy New Years guys! Yawn.
So she saw a quarter and a half of the pig movie. Oh this is getting tough. You know I bet I could impersonate somebody you know by like doing the name and URL thing in comments and the plasticgraduate had better get working he hasn't posted for a month! So a man and a dog walk into a bar and then oh wait I forgot. Have you even read all the way till here? If you have you- 1 Have no life 2 Are devoted to the point of noobic 3 All of the above

I'd say its option 3. Boy Aren't you bored yet because I know I am. now I think I will quote some famous people.
1 It's over Anakin, I have the higher ground!-Obi Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight
2 Yes I'm a surgeon!-Moe, Barkeeper
3 Ummmmm I can't think of any more.-Saleem, Awesome blogger.

You know I can't think of anything more and I still don't think I've done a page yet so I'll dig up some old ones.
A brief history of paper clips
OK here it is... What you have all been waiting for... It is... PAPER CLIPS!
The most common paper clip that we use was never patented but it was most likely made in Britain in the 1880s by "The Gem Manufacturing Company" according to Henry J Petroski.
Johan Vaaler, a Norwegian attained patents in Norway and in America for a less practical paper clip which used less wire as it did not include the last outer loop and one long side that the gem clip had. Here's what Vaaler's clip looked like.

Interestingly Norwegian patriots wore paper clips an their lapels during world war 2. This was not because Johan Vaaler supposedly invented the paper clip but because other badges were not allowed and the paper clip stood for solidarity and unity.


I hope this broadens all your horizons.

Ma furztt powzt evah

Hello all u people who are not reading this!
To those of you who are-How did you get here?


For those of you who don't know-I have a french exam tomorrow and I'm really not happy.


:P

Some accidental art

My pen broke in French class yesterday but I got some cool art out of it. I know I'm very conceited.

Here's my thanksgiving post:

Its a time to eat
and eat we will.
We will eat
a big Turkey Bird
Turkey Bird
Turkey Bird!

Thank you and I wish you all a Happy New Year 2010.

I'm da man! 50 posts!
This post was brought to you by my annoying brother Akshay!

-Saleem

PS Have you heard that there might be a huge Planet X on a collission course with Earth and also the Mayan long count calendar is coming to an end in 2012. Also there was a movie called 2012 in which the Earth ended so it seems we're all booked! Better start rioting and stuff people! We're running out of time!